|If only doctors looked so friendly. Thankfully mine does.|
Recently, it was that time of the year for me to get my yearly lady check up as I call it. This is another process I hate but a pretty necessary evil. First thing first, the breast exam. Pretty painless. She checks one boob. Cool. She checks the other boob. Wait. She's taking a while. Why is she adjusting herself and going over the same spot over and over again. And then she says it. Four fucking words I don't wanna h
ear, "I feel something here!" Bitch. You sound like you just struck gold in my boob and it's not what I want to hear. A lump. A big lump. Right there. I can feel my entire world coming down. What am I supposed to do? What does this lump mean? Breast cancer runs in my family. Do I have it? Is this cancer? WHAT THE FUCK?! I can feel my tears coming but I try to stop them. I'm successful for once. She tells me it's probably nothing. Just a cyst. What's my diet like? I kinda idly answer because I'm too busy being paranoid. She tells me I need to go see a specialist to get an ultrasound. Just to check. As soon as they bring me my "go home" papers, I call the specialist and set my appointment for the next day.
I get back in the car where my boyfriend is sitting on the phone. I literally stare at him until he gets off. He asks how the appointment went. I tell him they found a lump. He kinda just stares at me and asks what is it? Benign? Cancerous? A cyst? I say I dunno. The doctor didn't know. I have to see a specialist. He tells me it's gonna be ok. It's nothing. Here comes the tears. All the tears. I tell him that he doesn't understand that those are words a woman never wants to hear. I'm 23. His best friend recently passed away from cancer last year. I can't deal with this. And deep down, I feel like he can't either.
|Check, check, CHECK!|
|I think this might be what my boob looks like on the inside. I dunno.|
If you're slacking on your lady doctor appointments, get checked. The subject of cancer hits very close to home for me. As black women, we often neglect our health A LOT. We're always busy focusing on others that we could have a ticking time like cancer, a bad heart, expanding waist line, whatever. We take ourselves for granted and we need to make strides to do better. Beyond this one scare, I still definitely need to take better care of myself. My diet is STILL terrible. I don't care if I'm a size 2 or 22 but I know my insides aren't healthy. I need to be more active. I need to be more mindful of what I'm stuffing in my mouth. I'm trying. Failing. But I'm going to get back up and try again.
We own our health to ourselves before anyone else so take care of yourself <3
*insert my nifty almost signature block thing I haven't thought of yet*